Thursday, 21 March 2013

Today I... Share My Shame

Today I am living in a country renowned for its hard times. With the economic crisis, Greece is seen by most of the ignorant world as a country - excuse the choice of terminology - on its arse. Coinciding with the financial shortcomings, I have met some truly inspiring individuals that have also found hardships in their family lives. I have always felt at a disadvantage having not truly lived through a family trauma, not because I welcome any tragedy into my family (or anybody elses at that), but because I do not have a full grasp of exactly how they are feeling.

Without going into any details, out of wholehearted respect, these people have gone out of their way in order to assist their families in a fashion that could easily be found in a top-end Hollywood scenario. Although, it doesn't bring a tear to my eye (such as the opening of Pixar's Up does), it does stand out as a magnificent example of philanthropy on a realistic level, which is often overlooked nowadays.

I have a recurring nightmare of my grandfather passing away. I wake up from this nightmare with damp cheeks and a bit of a sniffle. If dreams have an unconscious meaning, what is my mind trying to tell me? Should I cry more? There was a point in my life when two of my family members were hospitalitised in critical condition, leading in my disappearance. In a way, I went off the radar for two days. There is no redeeming explanation as to why I responded in this manner. I simply fled because I could not bare not bear the thought of a family member in such a way. It has left me with a great deal of shame.Even to this day. I did go and visit them in the hospital but during my disappearing act, I feel that I let my family down.

If anything of this calibre ever occurs in my life again, I hope that I have the love and steel to do the right thing by my family and loved ones.

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