Saturday, 20 April 2013

Today I... May Have a Problem

Today, in correlation with practically every other day that it is feasible to say that I am in 'existance', I identified a certain aspect of my life that may cause complications if not addressed swiftly and with due concern. I am now, for the first time, officially packing timber.

It is no secret that I have been purposefully gaining weight over the past few months to look slightly more healthy as a man and to reduce the chance of being carried off on a light breeze. With certain students of mine I have a running joke that has developed regarding my exapanding waist-line with my corresponding remark simply being that it is simply a feature created for comfort. Secretly, it is a swelling reaction to an insatiable hunger, a love for rich Greek food and a chemically-altered metabolism. Originally, it was comfortable and not an issue; now, however, things have happened that have made me change my mind.

I popped a button; something that I have never actually done before. The first time I came to know of this phenomenon was when it happened to Porky Pig in a cartoon. So, when this happened I immediately looked at my relaxed mass as more of a danger. The embarassment of this moment was exacerbated by the fact that it was in the gym. That bugger just flew right off! Other moments of deep concern include the difficulty putting on jeans, fastening belts and the growing need to have a daily 'fat kid nap'.

Needless to say, I am one stomach poke away from spending two months wages on souvlaki, eating my way into oblivion and dying a very happy, garlicy mass of man.

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