Monday, 6 May 2013

Today I... Want Music Back

Today I realised that I am so close to my return to the British Isles that I can taste a fresh lamb hotpot and see a chilled pint of cider in a beer garden. With this in mind, I am developing a more serious mentality toward my future. I have re-buffed my CV somewhat and am scouting the job market for vacancies which would be apt for my level of skill and education. I am definitely reluctant to become acquainted with barwork again and I do not wish to teach English children, as I feel that I would have very little patience for the tribulations that I have heard that they can create. There is only enough room for one God complex in my classrooms after all....and that's mine. On an employment level, I am still clutching at straws, however am attempting to build an action plan. I am not so scared about my immediate future per se, but I do need to dig my feet in and use more foresight.

On another note, I am excited to get back to England and try to make music again. The happiest I have ever been in my life was when I was on stage with my four best friends, touring England in two small cars, sleeping on service station carparks and being surrounded by great company and meeting new people. Travelling broadens the mind. I can fully appreciate that having lived in Greece the best part of a year and having met the most interesting and different people I can imagine. Although this is still Europe the manner of life is far different; much more relaxed, which has helped me alot.

One of those Terminator styled enigmatic return of the
chosen one images. Very pretentious.
As I have previously stated, it is important to know your limitations in life. I will never be the next Jimmy Hendrix or Freddy Mercury. My level of talent stops at mediocre, yet this doesn't say anything for my level of ambition and passion. I love writing. When I pick up the scent of a melody, I fall in love with my work and hold an immense pride in the words I weave. In no way is this arrogance or vanity as I am my own largest critic. Before I produce a single line I like, I must go through 3 or 4 hours of hatred towards my work. Then the following day I may disgard that single line altogether. The final product may not be of the same calibre of what you hear on the radio, but I can argue that I am not educated in commerciality or music in any way shape or form. My grasp of musical knowledge is simply what I think sounds good. I know people who write music intrinsically - like  a science - and I watch them in complete awe as I edge closer to the cold realisation that I will never be adept in this field. My area of proficiency falls solely in words. It's just a shame that the words don't always come. I hope that the journey home will help me find my feet.

Continuing the idea of knowing your limits, I don't expect to find fame through music like I was once did. Last year I was adamant that it could be acheivable as I was surrounded by talented musicians whom I enjoyed working with. I wanted to capture this feeling, hold it and escalate it onto a larger scale. I had ideas and ambitions but I was moving too fast. It was an incredibly shallow mindset to have. Now, after a year, I understand that there is a beauty in perfection. If you really want something, don't wait for it to come to you and definitely do not rush it. Do it right. Nurture it and give it the attention and care it needs. The ideal situation for me would be to return home and write music. Just write and write. Write until we find songs that we are all proud of as 5 people from different musical backgrounds and tastes. A true challenge. I haven't discussed this with the boys as of yet, but I miss music. Like I said before, I am nothing special when regarding musical talent, but music is very special to me and having it out of my life for a year has left me raring to go again. This is to the utmost bemusement of my mother. She wants me to grow up. Sorry, mum.

If you are interested in listening to my band's recordings, feel free to click the link below:

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